The confirmed and most successful ex back step by step guide in practice.
“Warmed up tastes only goulash” or “Old love does not rust” – if you are tired of such sayings and it is about how your ex girlfriend will come back to you, then take care now …
Darius and Estefano, who made some ex-girlfriends crawl back to them over broken glass, tell you top tips and strategies for getting your ex-girlfriend back to you …
How do I get my ex girlfriend back
Darius: Many men have the problem that at some point they are in a steady relationship – this ends and they then want to win back their ex-partner. Now you have to take a look there.
Okay, why did the relationship end?
Did I leave the woman and now realize that I was an idiot and I want her back? Did she leave me and I realized that I still want her and do I want to take her back?
Men gain weight, they stop exercising, they are neglected and they just become poop.
This is very, very important, because no matter how it was, it created a certain picture of me in the woman’s head.
That means the woman has a certain opinion of me. That is why it is important that I first check whether this opinion that the woman has of me is possibly correct.
Quite often, when people are in relationships, they don’t bother with themselves. Men gain weight, they stop exercising, they are neglected and they just become poop.
That is why they become unattractive for women.
And that’s why the woman loses interest in this man, quite often. Actually, it should be the other way around, actually you should be much more neglected when you are not in a relationship than when you are in a relationship. Because if you have a reason to make yourself beautiful for someone, it is for your partner.
Estefano: Many men are caught up in this vicious cycle all their lives, where, when they are single, they work, train and care for themselves, then they are attractive, get to know one another, drop the whole thing, become unattractive, neglected, lose the woman, have no goals in life, and start again.
And many men have been trapped in this vicious cycle all their lives and do not check it at all and simply cannot get out.
Also because of the issue of ex girlfriend back, most men who want their ex back. They only want their ex back because they have no other options in their lives and that’s not the only reason it’s despair because you just don’t have another woman that you can get at all. And the only thing you can think of is the woman you were with.
So in a lonely corner you will only think of this woman you had here all of a sudden and suddenly you want her back, not because of her person but because you cannot imagine that you can get another woman.
That means, first of all, if you can get your turn that you can address, get to know and know all these other women. And if you have anything with 10-15-20 women because of me, just to distract yourself and clear your head, and then you say ‘hey, I still want this ex-girlfriend back’, then it’s okay , try to get her back.
Darius: Then you can also rate it, in general, reference experience. That is exactly the thing. You have to start reflecting for yourself, is it really the woman I want, or is it just a certain thing, a kind of resource, I say, I want this woman to have?
Estefano: For example, if I only feel alone.
Darius: For example.
Estefano: Or is it really about them?
Darius: Exactly. And that’s why it’s important. In my opinion, the most important thing after such a separation, when I discover at the end that I want my ex-girlfriend back, at least 30 days, if not longer, to avoid contact.
Click here to learn how to maintain a successful contact block
Simply no contact with her first to get along with myself. One of the most important foundations for a relationship – whether it’s a new relationship or a relationship with your ex-partner – is that you can be alone with yourself.
If you can’t be alone with yourself, if you find yourself shit yourself, then other people would find you shit.
So it is quite normal. But if you start to get inside yourself, to come to terms with yourself, and so on, then it’s better. So the first point, contact lock.
Finding out, is it really that I want the ex girlfriend back, or is it just a certain resource that I got from that person that I think I can only get from that person?
For example, someone scratches my head when I have a bad day, or whatever, whatever it is with you. And if I then realize that it is possibly only a resource and not the person, then this resource can first be obtained from other sources.
If we look at it economically, if Germany now only had one oil supplier and there is only one oil supplier, then we would be dependent on this oil supplier.
Then we would have to rely on us to do everything this oil supplier says. But if we now have 10 oil suppliers, then we have the choice, then we can source our oil from someone who creates the best conditions for us.
And that’s exactly how it is in a partnership. If I am dependent on only one person for the partnership resource and have no other choice, then I have to make compromises that I may not want to make at all.
How do I get my ex girlfriend back – take the test
Estefano: A good “ex girlfriend back test” for yourself should also be considered if I now had three women who all look 3 times better than them, 3 times better for me than them and 3 times are funnier than you. Would you still want your ex girlfriend back? And that’s an interesting question because if you put it that way and you automatically think, no, clearly, no more.
Then it’s clear that it’s just despair, because if you really love her, because she’s just the person you love, you don’t care if someone else looks better, is funnier, and fits you better, because you would love her for her person. But in 99% of all cases, you would think, of course not. Whats that for a question? And then you already know that it is so.
Darius: That is important. First of all to differentiate for yourself, okay I want my ex girlfriend back, don’t I? And when you had contact lockup and you dated other women and you find you still want them back – which it can be. For the most part, it won’t be that way, I’ll be honest, but sometimes there may be cases where it actually is.
Then it is so that the main goal must first be that you ensure that the picture of what your ex girlfriend currently has of you becomes a different one. Because the thing is, at the end of a relationship it is usually the case that we are annoyed by the partner, because we have always argued, that was boring, or whatever, your ex-girlfriend has some picture in her head about you branded.
We have to exchange this picture. How shall we do it? In which you develop yourself as a human being. You can’t just fake. When the woman has always complained that you are boring, that you do not take care of yourself, that you let yourself go. Then you don’t have to pretend to take care of yourself now, you should actually take care of yourself. You really should be that person. It takes a little time.
Estefano: Do you know what I found here? The most valuable thing I’ve ever learned about this topic is:
In order to get your ex back, you have to become the man who can have her back. But when you become the man who can have her back, you will find that you mostly don’t want her back.
Darius: That’s exactly what it looks like. I would say, at least 95% of the time, that when you become the man who can be successful with her, you don’t want her anymore. It is always the same, whether it is about ex-girlfriend, or I want to get out of the friend zone, or whatever. To be successful with a particular woman, you generally need to be successful with women. It’s just important.
But if you take a huge net and you fish 10 fish at a time, then you do it totally easy and you all have it on the net
Estefano: I always like to give the example with the fish. If a fish is in the water and you run after it, you will waste all your time and energy and you will die before you catch this fish because it is almost impossible to catch it.
But if you take a huge net and you fish 10 fish at a time, you’re doing it totally easy and you all have it on the net because it’s totally easy to get everyone on the net. And that’s exactly how it is with women. It’s much easier to get a lot of women than to get a specific woman that you’ve been chasing for years because you don’t want to be in contact with others for years. Where do you want to get the experience from?
Where do you want to get the exercise from? How do you want to be regardless of how she reacts when she’s the only one you have? And so on.
Darius: It’s the same with sports.
For example, if you play tennis, you are not training on the competition, you are training beforehand and then you will go to the competition at some point when you are prepared.
And just like that, you should generally become more successful with women so that women find you generally attractive. And then you will find that your ex-girlfriend – if you are in contact with each other again – will find you more attractive again because she will then notice it or will not notice it, but then she will no longer be so interested.
Estefano: And it just takes time for this image in her head to fade that she has of you. Who says 30 days. It totally depends on how long you are with her, 30 days is a great time as the bottom goal. Because if you are 13 years old with a woman for my sake, of course, it is not enough if you have 30 days of inactivity.
It was more of a vacation. You probably went somewhere every now and then. That means it is important that this picture fades completely so that you have a chance not only to build it up but also to become another person. Because what most men do is they try to show themselves from other sides and then play something, and the woman starts to test them and this old one comes up immediately because you have not changed and it is much too early .
How do I get my ex girlfriend back – The thought mistake men make most often
Darius: And the next thing is that many men make such a mental mistake because they want the old relationship back. And that is not possible. Once the relationship is over, you can’t have that old relationship back – you can get your ex girlfriend back, but you can never get the old relationship back.
What is possible is you can build a new relationship with the same person. But that’s a different relationship.
Estefano: The old relationship is dead. That is what you have to have in your head.
Darius: Exactly. That’s why you need to build a new relationship with that person.
But how would you build a new relationship with that person? You wouldn’t start texting her 13 and yelling on answering machine that you really want to see her. You wouldn’t do that. You would do cool things.
For example, you would, you know that your favorite book was ‘guilt and atonement’ and you may have been now, I don’t know, you haven’t been in contact for 3 months, you’re at the flea market, you see an old copy from ‘Guilt and Atonement’ and you write her ‘Hey, I am currently at the flea market, I saw an old copy of’ Guilt and Atonement ‘, I was just thinking about you, I thought I said hi and hope you go is good’. Just write a casual SMS.
Estefano: And don’t catch the damn bait. I keep seeing that. Even if the woman breaks up, she will miss you, believe it or not, because it always hurts when you leave someone, even if you are the person who broke up. And what women often do is that they want to sound out about whether you …
Darius: … whether it is still possible to get you back again.
Estefano: Exactly. And then what she often does is that she gives such a little pinky signal, such a sign of life, where she wants to find out, ah how does he react? And most of the time, the woman gives the man a little finger and the guy immediately everything, novels, 14 calls, ‘Hey do you want to do something?’ Or very bad, if it means something like ‘Yes, as soon as you meet want to get in touch. How poor is that?
This is the summit of ‘I’m always available, whenever you need me, just call’.
And then you become unattractive. It’s much better to just say, ‘Hey, sorry, I have to concentrate on my own life first’. And then keep her at a distance so that she is no longer sure, “Can I still have it or not?”
Darius: Because at the end of the day, the seduction process when it comes to the theam ex girlfriend is actually nothing more than the seduction process when it comes to a new woman.
There are of course a few small subtleties, such as that she already has a picture of you, which you just have to replace. But otherwise it’s exactly the same as a normal woman. The only problem is that as a man you can’t get it to be a normal process of seduction because you tend to see such huge value in this single woman. Because you are dependent on this one resource that you interpret into it.
Otherwise she would stay with you. Everything else is just a logical bullshit that somehow comes up where she thinks about it, okay, why could that have been, or because she doesn’t dare to tell you the truth. But it’s always a lack of attraction, just a massive loss of attraction in over 90% of the cases.
How you can quickly become attractive again – click here
Darius: Yes. And that is just extremely important. Especially if you now … I’ve been dealing with dating full-time for 10 years. And even for me it is the last time in such contexts – when was the last time my ex was back? – I don’t know 4-5 years ago, I have been dealing with the topic of dating full-time for half a decade, and even then it was still difficult for me to manage this mind-shift, that as normal seduction consider.
And that is why it is someone who is in the situation right now and is not a full-time flirt coach, it is almost impossible to consider this simply instant as normal seduction. That is why the best way is there, women will always tell you something else but do not listen to women, women do not always know what they say, women do not always know what they want, that is not meant to be pejorative, but it is actually just that .
If they always tell you ‘No, you just have to be nice to her, buy her flowers, do it’ whatever. I tell you date many women! What’s the worst thing that can happen?
Your ex-girlfriend doesn’t want you anymore, she doesn’t want you now anyway. If she doesn’t want you anymore because you’ve dating a lot of women, now she doesn’t want you either, you haven’t lost anything.
Estefano: Actually, you just want that feeling that she gave you, that you have someone who knows you so well, where you feel comfortable and can be lazy, maybe if you did it wrong in the end and yourself can let go.
And you have to understand what is your motivation to want your ex back. Because I guarantee that if you are no longer with your ex, there is a reason why you are no longer with your ex.
It obviously didn’t fit that well. If she had been an absolute dream woman – would – then it would probably not have broken.
Let’s be realistic and therefore if you have something with 10-15 women, then I dare to bet that in 95% of all cases, it got done with the ex-girlfriend.
Darius: And the thing is, if you start to come back into this dating cycle again it may not be that cool at the beginning, but at the latest when you have dating 2-3 women you will start to feel joy again and in 99.9% of cases you will find a better partner for yourself afterwards than before because you have matured as a person, not because your ex-partner was a worse person because you have matured as a person.
You can do a lot of things that went wrong in your old relationship, where you compromised, what you really didn’t want to do. You can no longer accept them now. But if I think about what women back then – my friends at the time – what they did to me, what I let them go through, if my partner today, if she did, I would ponder their rear and lock them in the bedroom, if she would do something like that.
That won’t happen anymore and of course I can now build a completely different dynamic in relationships than it did back then.